Giving pause to things that sound condescending...

As one might imagine by the title of this blog, the list could be quite long. Actually, this isn’t my take on slang, lazy language, or verbal rudeness in general. Instead, I’m hoping to throw some light onto the often “unintentional” verbal slights.

Yes, comments such as “what you need to understand…” – really, “what I need to understand,” said as though I must not be focusing or worse that I’m not capable of understanding. Yes, you’ve heard it before – we all have. It has become almost a type of cliché!

What about the statement typically said with the accompanied terse tone, “as I’ve already said…” or “as I’ve said before,” which indicates you were obviously NOT listening. So, in other words, you are testing my patience.

But my top pet peeve is when you ask someone, “how are you doing?” “how’s it going?” or “how’s your day been,” – rapid-fire out of their mouth, they exclaim, “busy!” And often, it is foreshadowed with a sigh.

Admit it, when you hear someone lament the fact that they are soooo busy, don’t you think “and…, who isn’t?” In fact, you have probably thought (I know I have), “I’m busier than you!”

In conducting an informal survey of the “busy” response, I was hit with a barrage of comments, none of which were too kind. People really opened up as I obviously hit a nerve when I asked them to give me their opinions when met with the “busy” retort. Comments such as “what an ego to think they are busier than the person they are talking to,” “how rude to be so self-centered, everyone is busy,” “are you kidding me, they don’t know what being busy is…” and one of my favorites – “I’ll show them busy!”

And there were several examples that I don’t dare share – the adult language coupled with the overall intensity is too much for this blog! Suffice it to say; people are offended more often than not when hearing, “I’m so busy!” It does ring of condescension that my “busyness” is of a higher importance, or I should be given a pass when things go awry. Case in point…when someone says, “sorry, I don’t respond to your email until now, I have been busy.” Aaargh!

Being mindful (purpose of this blog) requires thinking of our impact on each other. So the next time you whine about how busy you are, remember everyone feels the same way. Does my “busy” get to trump your “busy?”

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